Stop Feeling Guilty About Talking Too Much

Hey!
Sorry I'm being really infrequent with posting.
This is something that's been bugging me for a while now, and when I say a while, I mean like, the past couple of years or so.

I'm quite a chatty person, I'm talkative, I gotta lot of shit to say (even if most of it is, actually, shit) - it's probably the main reason I have a blog. I can't be limited to 140 characters, I need to RAMBLE, I need to EXPAND. So it stresses me out that I have to be so self-concious about how long my messages are, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

"Nm babe, you?"

In the 'olden days' that we love to vaguely refer to, people used to sit and write letters that were like 3 pages long. You wouldn't catch Lizzy Bennett sending a Snapchat like "be there at 7", because it would be weird. That's why everyone hated Darcy, cos he didn't say much. But now it's become the opposite attitude - people get weirded out if you send long text messages and don't just keep it short and sweet like "how are you?" "good yeah you"

Well uh-uh, honey. I ain't about that. If I'm texting a friend, I want to cover all aspects of the conversation, I want to tell them all about what's going on, I want to reply to their questions properly and with personality. But now I catch myself reading something back and being like "jeez, that's long", and sending follow up messages like "sorry, that was really long!"... Why? Are people honestly that lazy that they can't sit and read a text message that's more than 4 lines?

It stresses me out to think that people will receive my messages and before even reading it just see a huge block of text and think "naaaa fuck this" NO. I have a lot to say and that's FINE, it doesn't make it hugely dramatic or overly emotional, I just got a lot of things I wanna say to you. Why do I even have to worry about this? We all feel the need to censor ourselves so much, and hold back too much because we don't want to come off badly, and it's scary and stressful. People feel they have to apologise (not gonna lie, mainly women) for "ranting". RANT TO YOUR HEARTS CONTENT if it makes you feel better! Communication is great, talking to people is awesome, we should do it more, and we should do it properly and in depth.

Sorry this was kinda trivial, but I wanted to say it, so yeah - have a great Easter everyone!

Tegan xo

Patrice Wilson, Professional Creeper & Life Ruiner

Ever since Rebecca Black's "Friday" went viral for being so horrifically awful, pre-pubescent girls everywhere have become obsessed with releasing their own terrible, TERRIBLE, music videos.

If, like me, you find something weirdly entertaining in going through related video after related video, watching all this hilarious content and feeling better about yourself, you've probably noticed something.

THIS GUY. He's in all of the music videos, usually as the token rap verse.
This guy is Patrice Wilson, aka "Pato", and he owns Ark Music Factory, the "record label" responsible for churning out auto-tuned shite and making thirteen year old girls believe they've "made it" cos their pushy parents paid for them have a shit song released on the Internet, because they are terrible people.


One of the first creepy videos he features in is Alison Gold's "Chinese Food". Yeah, this guy actually produced a music video about Chinese Food. I bet that took a lot of effort to come up with, Patrice. Really musta digged deep for some inspiration. Anyway, so Alison's singing about how much she loves chow mein, chow m-m-m-m-mein, when this panda rocks up out of nowhere:

They're having a great time, cloud spotting, tickling each other...

 

So great that the panda gets invited to their sleepover. Wow!

 

Oh wait, the panda is Patrice Wilson, creepy adult man. SURPRISE!

 

It doesn't stop there. Some of the videos are both creepy and make absolutely no sense."ABCDEFG" is another one of Gold's songs, where she basically sings the alphabet, and something about being on a one-way street, and other generic pop song lines. To be honest I'm not even sure what the song is about because I was too busy focusing on the fucking weird video.

It starts out with Patrice as the owner of some weird toy town that he looks FAR too happy about.

 Like a normal adult, he spies on young Alison through the window into her tiny dollhouse. What a lovely sight to wake up to.

Alison is crushing on this dude but he's all "Alison! Back the fuck off with your basic alphabet shit! I'm trying to study here! Some of us can't buy fake success in this world!"

Patrice sees this, and after whisking her away in his creepy minivan to an underage club, he looks in his kitchen cupboard, and finds a variety of potions.There it is again, chinese food. Obsessed much?

Then he just straight up fucking spikes her drink with a seriously demonic look on his face.

 

Then after some weird scenes featuring the other club-goers accidentally being turned into puppets (silly Patrice, he used the puppet potion instead of the love potion!), it seems like he's using "human potion" to turn them all back. But what actually happens is that the love interest drinks some punch and turns into a fucking PLATE OF CHOW MEIN. Then Alison just kinda shrugs and EATS HIM.

 If that wasn't weird enough, it gets even more creepy. Yep, sexy music videos! Alison then released "Shush Up", which a lot of people complained about for being too inappropriate. I can see where they were coming from. ALISON IS ELEVEN IN THIS VIDEO.

 

Not the most practical outfit for robbing a jewelery store...

 

I'm pretty sure that's not a regulation prison uniform. Or is gold the new black?

 Oh dear God please stop.

Patrice Wilson effectively gets paid to ruin young girls' lives. Imagine three or four years down the line, Alison Gold is going to be absolutely mortified. How the HELL can people's parents be on board with this, no less pay the man MONEY to exploit their daughter? The world is coming to this weird 'Dance Mom' ideology, of my kid needs this, my kid needs to be the best, my kid needs to be rich and famous. Jesus Christ, just let them go out and play with their friends like normal children. And stop giving this man money! It's creepy as hell!

Tegan xo

It's OK To Be OK!

Hey guys,

So, for "image research" (the fancy term I'm going to use for finding pictures to make my blog posts look more interesting) I typed in "average" on Tumblr, and scrolled through the pictures that came up under that hashtag. Amongst all the brutal photos of random people's genitalia (don't type in "average" in Tumblr, or you WILL see a load of posts of men comparing penises. Shiver.), I found SO many text posts from young people, worrying about being average. I saw quotes from celebrities about the "fear of being average". And I'm here to tell you to conquer that fear.

Yelena Bryksenkova, "Solitaire" (Flow Magazine)

Today's world has become very focused on doing things FAST. Fast food, fast WiFi, fast cars - and it's all so excessive. People don't describe things anymore, they use hashtags, they cram it all in into 140 characters or less. And OK, that's just how the world's evolving. But along with it, our attitudes towards ourselves are, too. Everyone wants to be the BEST, and quickly. You see teenagers who are celebrities by the age of nineteen, and you're sat here, the same age, not even able to get a decent score on Singstar. 

We're constantly comparing ourselves to other people. When I was seventeen, I read an interview with Dakota Fanning in TeenVogue, who is the same age as me. All I could think was "she's seventeen too. And look what she's done." But the fact is, Dakota Fanning, like many of the other people we want to compare ourselves to, is from Hollywood. These people are given things in life that others aren't. When we're young, we all have to make the most of ourselves in whatever environment we've been given. So you're from a small, suburban town in the United Kingdom. You go to school, you do well in your exams, you make some cool friends, maybe do something creative, help some local charities. And that's completely awesome, and you have excelled as a person from a small, British suburb. 

We're all in such a rush to be successful. I'm only nineteen years old, and last night I had about fifteen different tabs open - applying for internships, trying to do my blog, trying to write something for my FemSoc, looking at volunteer work, and having all these ideas for starting my own magazine. It was a complete whirlwind, and it wreaked havoc on my broadband speeds.

You don't have to achieve everything all at the same time. Spread it out. Having loads of ideas and plans is so fantastic, and it's important to develop it over a few years, not trying to rush it all at once. It's OK to just be "OK" for now, because if you take the time to be average when you're young, and have everything stored up to slowly release and work on in the next few years, in five years' time you will have achieved so much. It may be the case that you feel your life is so average, but who knows what will happen in a couple of months. Keep doing you, and stop stressing - it'll happen when it happens. It's never too late, even when you're sixty five.

The key to this is to stop trying to cram so many things into one day. Relax. As great as to-do lists are, you don't have to have everything checked off by midnight. I would say a successful day for me is to get one or two things from my to-do list done, and then have done something fun and relaxing, too. Obviously, this isn't always the case with jobs and uni and stuff, or if you have a deadline the next day. But on our days off and in our free time, it is important to have time and space to breathe. You can't force yourself to be productive, especially if you're trying to do something creative. Our minds need a recharge as well as our iPhones.

Tegan xo 

"Nice Guys" & The Friend Zone

OK, first things first, tonight I got elected as the new Treasurer for my uni's Feminist Society which is pretty exciting. I get to be on the Committee and help out with all the cool projects that are coming up. Yay!

Anyway, onto what I was actually gonna talk about.

So, you may have heard the phrase "nice guy" come up a lot in well...life. "He wouldn't do that, he's a nice guy!", etc. What I've noticed is that it also comes up a lot in movies. And not even always explicitly. But there just always seems to be, in a lot of teen/rom-com films, the "nice guy" that the girl SHOULD go for, but silly her, doesn't, until the end! Even if these guys are straight up stalkers, and just pester her until she agrees to like him. Take Pitch Perfect for example:

Don't get me wrong, I love Pitch Perfect, it's absolutely hilarious, and just generally a feel-good movie with catchy tunes. But did no-one think that the way Jesse and Beca ended up becoming closer was kinda creepy? He basically stalks her until she talks to him. And then when it all kicks off and she gets in trouble with the police, he calls her Dad. OK, yeah, he was trying to do the right thing, but that seriously messes with Beca's deal with her Dad, and it wasn't his place to do that. Yet we all immediately feel really bad for him and judge Beca for getting angry at him. And we love it when they get together at the end. But the relationship only happens because Jesse was being a douchebag! He basically wears her down until she agrees to spend time with him, and is then forced to admit "oh whoops sorry I was being really  mean, I should have realised from the start what a nice guy you are!", when really, she was perfectly within her rights to say "dude, leave me alone, this is getting weird now..." He didn't respect the fact that she wanted to be left alone.

This happens a LOT in movies. Guys get feelings for girls, and girls are like "no get away" but because they're such NICE GUYS we feel like they deserve attention from the girl. When really, no matter how nice you are, if it's a no, it's a no. Then at the end, she's forced to be like "whoops!!! I was so silly and horrible!". 

This is annoying enough to have to sit through in movies, but it does translate to the real world. I'm pretty sure this "nice guy" thing is where that heap of crap "THE FRIEND ZONE" came from. When will people (of whatever gender) realise that women don't owe men anything. Just because you held open a door to me and have feelings for me or cook with your Mum or something and are a "NICE GUY" doesn't mean I should automatically be attracted to you and commit myself to you as your girlfriend. Guys who talk about being in "the friend zone" talk about it as if they expected anything else. Don't just assume that it's gonna progress to something more just cos you own a set of testicles, my friend. My 100% platonic friend. Sorry (not sorry).

Also as T Swift says in the picture above - guys who label themselves as "nice guys"... aren't always nice guys. 

I feel compelled to add (as I usually do) that this, of course, does not apply to all men. And that a lot of men aren't like this, just some bad apples ruining it for the rest. But it is something that goes unnoticed quite a lot, and isn't really seen as something bad. So yeah, hopefully soon guys will realise that this sort of assumption is wrong.

Anyway, I'm STARVING as its 9.45pm and I still haven't eaten dinner. Sorry if this is a load of waffle, fighting the patriarchy on an empty stomach ain't easy. I'm gonna go eat now.

Tegan xo

8 Awesome Things That Have Already Happened In 2015

1. First and foremost, the McRib has made a comeback

You've gotta love processed pork and increased diabetes risks! Although maybe not enough to get it tattooed on your chests. I'm really sorry, vegetarians. Keep scrolling. 

2. It's been announced that there's gonna be an AbFab movie

Start re-watching all the episodes! Jennifer Saunders says she's finished the script and production work will take place this year!

3. Birdman came out in cinemas, and it was fucking awesome

It really wasn't what I expected. Although to be honest I didn't know much about it before I saw it, so didn't really know what to expect. But I was pleased. It centres around a washed up actor who used to be famous (by playing superhero Birdman), now trying to make it on Broadway with an adaptation of a Raymond Carver story. He has to hire super-egotistical actor Mike (played by Edward Norton) and have his recovering stoner daughter (played by Emma Stone, how appropriately named HA okay sorry) help him out. Towards the end it gets a bit confusing, but it's fucking great when you think it all through. The first half is basically just the drama of Broadway, and huge chunks of it is filmed all in one take which is pretty awesome. Also, lots of loud drums. Just as a warning.

5. Artist Hannah Habibi made these great alternatives to Page 3 pictures

Check them out here

6. The petition to stop Oldham signing convicted rapist Ched Evans BLEW UP

On the 4th January, a petition to stop Oldham from signing him was started on Change.org and it is now ranked as one of the fastest-growing petitions on the website. It was estimated at more than one person a second signing it. Little bit of faith in humanity has been restored. Sign the petition HERE

7. An indie record label bought the UKIP website

Oxford-based record label "Alcopop!" paid £200 for the rights to the UKIP domain name two days ago. They have a receipt, but unsure if the website is fully in their control. When asked what they would do if it were to be, a spokesperson for the label said "we're not sure yet. Some charities have suggested linking through to them so that sounds like a cracking idea. What I really don't want to do, if it all goes through, is do something that would make me a lot of money. That would be horribly crass."

Apparently the site is up and running again now, working 'for some, but not for others'. Hmmm. Well it was fun while it lasted.

8. And lastly, I got a cool new haircut

I'm bringing the 70s split fringe back... OK, maybe Alexa Chung did it first, but whatever.

I hope 2015 continues to be bright and beautiful for you all

Tegan xo

8 Reasons Why Cheer Is A Sport, Illustrated By Mean Girls Quotes...

1. Its a life ruiner, it ruins peoples lives.

Seriously. The amount of all star athletes who are injured for life from cheerleading is ridiculous. Or those who finally make the team they want, just to be told they can't because they've injured themselves or aren't QUITE good enough and they're out for the season. Dreams crushed.

2. I'm an athlete, duh.

Don't let the cute bows and outfits fool you. The abs on some cheerleaders speak for themselves. Although to be honest, most cheerleaders aren't these "super human" looking people. We're normal sized and can eat a TON like regular teenagers. But most could still probably beat you in a weightlifting challenge.

3. It's like it's on ESPN or something!

I mean, this is enough to prove the fact. The Cheerleading World Championships are always shown on ESPN. Last time I checked, that was a sports channel.

4. On Wednesdays, we wear... sweat.

It's exhausting.

5. Why should the flyer get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under her big feet? Hmm?

You know, bases are just as cute as flyers, people like bases just as much as they like flyers - ahem. Seriously though. I've never based, but I know they get kicked in the face a LOT.

6. Raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimised by Eddy Rios.

The entirety of Smoed be like

To get the best results out of your athletes, its good to push them. And nobody does it better than "Psycho Coach", Eddy Rios. But seriously. Cheer coaches don't go easy.

7. Oh my God, Angel Rice, I love your work!

I mean...have you SEEN this girl tumble!?

8. One time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome.

Catching baskets can lead to some pretty awkward collisions. In fact, any stunt can. But even when you're getting punched in the face, you fucking love it. 

COS WE'RE BADA$$$$$$

OK I'm done. Hope you all had a great Christmas and New Years!

Appropriation or Appreciation? - Part 2!

Hey guys!

So here it is, part 2 of the ol' Appropriation vs Appreciation debacle. In Part 1, we looked at Bindis, Native American Headdresses, Avril Lavigne's "Hello Kitty" video, and Taylor Swift & Lily Allen adopting hip hop. 

Alright, without much further ado, let's get started with the first topic of Appropriation or Appreciation (is it me, or am I starting to sound like a game show host? Whatever):

Katy Perry's AMAs Performance 

A lot of people went off about this geisha-inspired performance, saying it was racist. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's racist, as I don't think Perry was intentionally trying to offend anyone or especially mock Japanese culture. However, I would say it could be filed under appropriation. A lot of people nowadays just think geishas are pretty ladies from Japan who wear cute outfits and have something to do with blossom trees - right? Wrong. 

Geishas have a long standing history in Japan, and some of it is pretty fucked up. For instance, there's a tradition called "mizuage", which in some cases is totally innocent, and involves apprentice geisha having a simple haircut to show that they have come of age. During the Edo period (16-1800s) and most probably afterwards as it only became illegal in 1959, geishas "mizuage" was selling their virginity to the highest bidder, most usually a creepy old man who would pay to have sex with a ripe young virgin. I know, how horrific. But the life in general of a geisha is ridiculously strict, filled with meticulous rules, and artistries to master. The way they dress, the way they present themselves, the skills they acquire like dancing, playing instruments, it's all done to a tee. Yeah, nowadays, modern geisha are women who make the decision themselves to become geisha after leaving school, and their sex lives are in their own hands (phew),  but the history of it isn't all that free. They were women who were just dressed up and made to work super hard to entertain men like walking accessories. And I doubt Katy Perry has felt that struggle. I know she's not intentionally trying to cause offence, but I would just say, she needs to sort out her stylists. Cos they're overlooking some major appropriation here.

The Crucifix in Modern Fashion

As an atheist myself, I don't really feel much offence with this, I just think it's kinda stupid. I mean, why would you wear something with a crucifix on it if you're not a Christian? And if you were a Christian, you wouldn't wear something that makes your religion seem like nothing more than a gimmick - you'd wear, erm, I don't know, AN ACTUAL CRUCIFIX? So basically I'm pretty sure these clothes are being worn by a LOT of non-believers. Also, I just don't think it even looks that good. Of all the prints you could choose, you choose one that doesn't even look that nice, and that also offends people. I'd say this is definite religious appropriation. It's kinda ironic, cos the people who sport these clothes... NEED JESUS. 

Katy Perry (again!) in her Dark Horse video

Look who it is again! This video did spark quite a bit of controversy, but not really for the overall Egyptian theme, but more for one specific moment. Muslims everywhere were outraged when they saw a scene in the video where a man wearing a necklace with "Allah" on it is burned by Katy's all powerful fingers. Over 65,000 people signed a petition to have it removed, and the Allah pendant was edited out. So, yeah, that part of the video was obviously offensive to lots of people. As for the whole Egyptian thing she's going for, I'm not really sure if it's appropriation. If anything, it's just a bit random. The song has nothing to do with Egypt, and it makes no references to Egyptian history. It even makes a reference to Greek mythology ("make me your Aphrodite"), but, er, absolutely nothing to do with Egypt. OK then. Again, I feel like this is more of a fault of the stylist, or in this case, the producer, or whoever's idea it was (because it most probably wasn't Perry's). Someone obviously just thought "do you know what looks cool? Egyptian stuff. Katy would look amazing as an Egyptian goddess". Um, except for the fact she's white, but fine. As an aesthetic, the whole Ancient Egyptian thing is pretty glam. Dressing up as an Ancient Egyptian goddess is basically just about embodying strength whilst also looking fucking fierce, as opposed to looking cute but exploiting a long standing tradition that was pretty horrific and hard work for a lot of women (as with the geisha thing). So... kinda offensive in terms of the Allah necklace thing, but the vibe of the video doesn't seem to be too appropriative. Just kinda irrelevant.

Gwen Stefani and her Harajuku Girls

OK, so if this was simply limited to one video with like a Japanese street-fashion theme or something, I would take the Avril Lavigne stance of "this is a stylistic thing, it's fine". But this is kinda fucking weird. Stefani hired four back up dancers and gave them the names "Love", "Music", "Angel", and "Baby", named after the album. She used them for all her stage performances and a number of her videos, and brought them along as her entourage at her public appearances. They're basically like her little accessories. I mean, they always look so fucking bored and pissed off in the photos, it's actually ridiculous how she got away with this. They're people... not pets. Especially dressing them up in those sailor-girl outfits like they're weird anime sex dolls. Grim. She appeared with them on "Friday Night With Jonathan Ross" and introduced them as her "imaginary friends". Just the cherry on the huge cake of dehumanisation. Margaret Cho called it "a minstrel show that reinforces ethnic stereotypes of Asian women". Yeah, OK, this was in 2005, I should let it go, but it's still really weird. Is anyone else really regretting buying that perfume? I'm not sure whether to file this under cultural appropriation or mild slavery... Either way, you can't use people as accessories, Gwen.

So there it is, part 2! 
Leave me a comment letting me know your opinions on the matter, and if you have any other ideas/examples of cultural appropriation that I can investigate: who knows, I might do a part 3. There's a lot of bad decisions being made in this world...

Tegan xo