Wednesday, 15 July 2015


Hey guys!

I'm sorry to leave you, but I've moved to WordPress! Couldn't be dealing with Blogger anymore, I'm sorry.

You can find me over at (please follow me lol)

Lots of love xxxxx

Tuesday, 14 July 2015

On Dealing With Other People

What I've learned over the past few weeks: Sometimes people love you, sometimes people hate you, and sometimes people are just downright awful. You gotta take the rough with the smooth. Or, you know, get them fired.

Wow, OK, so it's been about ten years, what's everyone up to, has anyone got married/had any children since I last posted on here?!

I actually have been really busy recently, yep, and there is EVIDENCE. I have been working at Royal Ascot for a week, then spent a week in Morocco, then spent a week working at Hampton Court Palace, then spent a week training for and subsequently attending the Cheerleading Nationals in Bournemouth. So, yeah. Sorry!

But during this hectic period, I have had to work with and deal with lots of different people, and it has made me think a lot about how we respond to each other.

The Ascot mentality
At Royal Ascot, I didn't really get to know anyone because the staff changed every day. So the only bullshit I had to put up with was from customers. It was doable enough. Even though everyone was rude as hell.
However, I've realised there needs to be two distinct ways in which we respond to people being rude. Some situations you just have to deal with and get over. Others, you need to fight back, hard.

When people are nice - it's awesome. Appreciate it.

In Morocco, it was a completely different ball game.
I was so taken aback at how genuinely selfless and kind people were. We went during Ramadan, where, as I'm sure most of you know, Muslim people aren't allowed to eat/drink until the sun goes down. All week, I observed taxi drivers and waiters who were so committed to God and their religion that they wouldn't eat/drink in 40 degree heat, but would still have the upmost patience and respect for tourists. They would work just as hard, with no complaints. It made me so angry that Muslims get such a bad rep cos they were honestly the nicest people I met. In fact, on the last night, I was brought back to the Earth shattering reality of the disgusting Westernised world we live in when Mike and I went to a bar and saw beautiful young women being bought by old, fat, white men intent on taking them back to their hotel and shagging them for money like they'd just bought a rug or something.

When people aren't nice - but you just have to deal with it

So after this week of being treated with such kindness, I returned to the UK with the not so friendly reminder that, oh yeah, no, not everyone likes you. And this, stupidly enough, is something I have really had trouble dealing with.
When I was working at Hampton Court, I was working at a particular restaurant (won't name and shame), where the staff clearly had their favourites, and their not so favourites. I made friends with all of the other waitresses and they were all lovely, but it seemed as if the managers had set up a divide between us. I was in the lesser category. I was obviously, between them, deemed lazy for not being in the right place at the right time, and was subsequently stuck on the door hostessing for two days - a really lonely, sucky, boring job, where 60 year old men will slap your bum and call you their girlfriend. I told the managers about this and they just said "get in there girl!" and stuck me on the door again to "bring more men in". My only worth in that restaurant was looking nice and being objectified. I suck it up though, as they were my employers.
After that day, I sat in a car park with  Mike and sobbed. And I don't even know why. It was ridiculous. Why did I care so much what these people thought about me? I just couldn't stand the thought that a group of people were looking down on me, and thinking I wasn't doing a good job. I hated being one of the bad ones. Which is stupid, because in retrospect it was one week of my life, and I was never going to see these people again, and who even cares what they thought of me? I told myself I would probably be earning double their salary in twenty years. But that didn't change the fact that there were people who had obviously said bad things/thought  bad things about me, and that really upset me.

Similarly, I have lost a few friends recently because of my relationship choices. To have someone tell me that "yeah that lot don't really like you anymore" was kind of upsetting. I am the kind of person who has a tough exterior - if I feel people are treating me unfairly I'll be like "lol fuck them then they're just idiots" but on the inside, oh man, I seriously have trouble dealing with it. And I know this is something I need to work on. Is anyone else the same? I know it's hard but I guess we just have to remind ourselves that we can't please everyone.


This was a recent incident that taught me a very important lesson: sometimes, you DON'T and you SHOULDN'T have to put up with people being assholes.

Last night, I was at the pub with my boyfriend Mike and our friend Aljec. We were having a grand old time, even though there was no drunkenness involved really. We were sat outside in the smoking area, when a girl who works there arrived to sit down and have a cigarette. She sat down at a table with a bunch of guys who it soon transpired also worked there, but it was their night off.
They soon started calling her a whore and joking about her boyfriend paying for sex. I kept out of it, just looking at my phone (Mike and Aljec had gone to the loo). One guy then said "even that girl over there's judging you!"

I looked up and promptly responded "I'm actually judging you guys for being total dicks to this girl. She can do whatever she wants." I then asked them "if you had sex with multiple people, would you get called a whore?" to which he responded yes, and I just thought, well this is going nowhere. Mike and Aljec returned, and the duty manager also came out for a cigarette, as the pub was closing.
I don't really know how this conversation escalated, but I remember this same guy looking over at our table and saying to me "I'd touch you", as if that was somehow a compliment???? OK....
So then it all just kicked off. I ranted at him massively. He made comments such as "I wanked into the glass you're drinking out of" and even called himself a rapist. He was just all round a total piece of work. But it was kind of tragic and pathetic. When I sassed at him that he was going to spend the rest of his life wanking into socks because he would never find a girlfriend, he said "yeah I'm fine with that". Er, OK mate, bit embarrassing.

Anyway it really put a downer on the evening because I was reminded how vile and misogynistic some men can be. I stormed out of the pub and down the street, whilst Mike had a word with the manager.

After posting the story on Facebook, I received a pretty big response. People told me I should report it, and well done for being so brave and not letting him get away with it. But in my head he had got away with it. So maybe he got a bit told off from the manager, so what? My words obviously hadn't changed his mind. I needed some further action.
So anyway I emailed his manager and it looks like he's getting fired :))))

The important thing to remember is - in situations like this, you CAN'T let them get away with it. Attitudes need to change. This is far too common, it's practically an everyday occurrence. A lot of women might have been too shy/ashamed to have even responded to him, let alone take the steps to get him fired, and that's awful. People, women in particular, please know - it's not too trivial. NOTHING gives people the right to speak to you like that. So, if that ever happens to any of you (which, sadly, I'm sure it probably will), don't be afraid to take action because the chances are, it will be taken seriously.

WOW, sorry, that was a huge long post.
If you made it this far, well done! Sorry for the rant.

Anyway that's all from me for now, stay safe

Tegan xo

Thursday, 28 May 2015

Why It's Feminism And Not "Equalism"

Or men could just sympathise lol


So this is something that's really bugged me for a while now, and it just makes me want to sit everyone down and explain it to them all at the same time. I want to make a three or four page PowerPoint and send it to everyone I know (but that would be kind of weird), anyway the point is I just want everyone to understand this as it is v v important (in my opinion)!!!!

So people say "why is it called feminism, why is not equalism?" like "if it's about equality why is it leaning in favour of women?"


Yes, feminism is about equality of the sexes, not about women or men being better, but about equality, a level playing field. So why call it "feminism" which indicates a movement specifically about women?


Think about it like this: you're chilling in the park right, and you're with your mate on the seesaw and they chilling, but you've got this heavy ass bag on your lap with bricks in it and shit, and you just can't seem to move it however much you try, so your mate is up and you're down but you're like... excuse me I wanna get my feet off this damn tarmac. But you can't get the bag of bricks off your lap. If you take the bricks off, you can rise and become at a level with your friend (because you're both the same weight OK, oh man I should have said twins, but anyway yeah you're the same height and weight let's assume)
We can't call it equalism yet because the see saw isn't balanced and it is women who are sitting with their feet on the tarmac trying to offload the bricks so they can let physics do it's thing and let the two seats level out. You get me??

People who say "it should be equalism" are completely disregarding the fact that women are the ones who are actually facing the struggle (and when I talk about women facing a struggle I do not just mean people like me and people I know living in the UK who get catcalled and groped in clubs I am talking about women in warzones who are raped and married off to random men aged twelve, I am talking about all of them).

And that's why it's feminism and not equalism, because it's women who need to be treated differently, its the woman's seat that needs to rise (is this see saw analogy actually working lol). Because it's about women becoming equal to men. Not the other way around.

Anyway so there it is, hope that doesn't make you feel too uncomfortable.

Sunday, 17 May 2015

Being "Alternative" Doesn't Make You A Better Person

Hey there, sorry it's been about 12 million years.

So whenever things become a big trend, or popular, or just a mainsteam part of society, there's always a bunch of people who go against it to seem edgy and above other people.

And yeah, that's right, I'm looking at you, PARENTS.

I'm so sick of parents and generally older/superior feeling people saying stuff like "there's no hope for this generation" because girls are wearing lots of make up, because people are taking selfies, because people are listening to One Direction. Do you know what? Fuck off. This generation has no hope because of shitty politics, because of war, because of sexism, because policemen are shooting young black people for no reason - not because a girl put on a lot of foundation and a pair of short shorts and danced about to some chart music.

It's the same with people who slate selfie sticks. Get over yourself. You're not better than everyone just because you oppose something that's seemingly vain and hugely popular. I can see that they can get a bit ridiculous when you see people spending their entire holiday walking around taking pictures of themselves, and not the actual sights (my brother just got back from South America and saw a girl do the whole Inca trail taking selfies with llamas). But GODDAMNIT they are useful when there is a big group of you and you wanna get a good angle!! Or if your whole outfit is on point and you are feeling your look! As Kim K says, can I live?!


And don't get me started on people who think they're better than everyone else just because they like some edgy band and hate the charts. OK I'll admit, this used to be me. I was like eww pop music lol omg no haven't you heard of the Beatles!?!?!? I'm sorry for that.
I mean, if you don't like the charts and you prefer different music, that's great, that's totally cool. Good for you for going out and expanding your taste. But don't start sneering at people who wanna bust a move to Beyonce. It's just a preference, and it doesn't determine that person's character or beliefs. Just do you.

still kinda rude tho

A personal fave of mine are those pics that are like "women: what happened?" as if women have become these monstrous creatures that are committing terrible crimes.

Um okay, listen here buddywink!! This is what happened - women's liberation groups made it possible for women to be able to wear pretty much what they wanted, women were allowed to leave the fucking kitchen, women were allowed to take control of their sexuality. I mean yeah OK I have no idea who Snookie even is or why she's famous and I'm a big fan of Audrey Hepburn, but I would never put the two up against each other and be like "what has happened to the world" because, er, here's the catch - THINGS MOVE ON. Time is an inevitable concept.
File this one amongst the people who are like "I wish I could live in the 50s" but actually would self destruct without wifi (probably) and would live an extremely oppressed existence (here's looking at you ladies, and people of colour, and transgender people, and gay people..and... well anyone who isn't a straight cis white man).

What I'm trying to say is, take a step back before you judge other people and get all uppity about your disagreement with something popular. Instead of sneering at those who listen to chart music, how about you go on a night out with them, and see how much fun they are. Or engage in a discussion with them about politics. Or simply focus your anger on ACTUAL issues, going on in all the corners of the globe!!! And above all...just don't be a dick OK!

Tegan xo

Wednesday, 29 April 2015

14 Things You'll Only Remember If You Grew Up In Fleet

1. Longing for the day you were old enough to get into Jaxx

But instead having to settle for Snap (or as it's now called... "Hype"). Once a month, going out on a Friday night to the oh-so-glam Harlington Centre, after choosing matching outfits with your "twinny" and speculating about who was going to dance with who on MSN.

2. The Skate Park

Most people didn't even ride skateboards. Either you were one of those twats on a scooter, or you were one of the girls hanging around watching in the hopes of getting noticed by that fit bloke in your Maths class. Or you walked past and judged everyone there. Either way, the skate park was a central location for socialising in Fleet... as well as McDonalds.

3. Turning on the Christmas Lights

 THE social event of the year. Only the coolest of the cool went on that ride "Music Trip".

4. Fleet Carnival

Second only to the Winter Gala Night, the Summer Carnival was HUGE. Good luck trying to get through the High Street, or, anywhere. And good luck trying to spot your child in the parade.

5. Sledding down The Views on snow days

After tuning into 96.4 The Eagle and hearing your school announced, it was time to get straight to the Views, basically the only incline in Fleet. Until all the snow was gone cos those wankers that had been there since 9am had ruined it.

6. Being outraged when Verne Video shut down. 

Where am I supposed to get 1p sugar mice from now?!

7. The absolute BATTLE of the secondary schools

Oh, I'm sorry, you're a Court-Mooron?!

8. Trying to tell people where you're from

"Oh, the services?" Yeah, the services.

There's a fucking WAITROSE

9. Feeling like you were living somewhere *happening* when Fleet finally got a Starbucks


10. Being shocked and appalled when Woolworths closed down

And then subsequently Poundland. Why do good things happen to good people?!

11. The Pink Man of Fleet! A true local legend.

12. Venturing to Basingstoke at the weekend and feeling like you were hitting up Oxford Street

Was it really a trip to Basingstoke if you didn't take a dressing room selfie on your Nokia?

13. Never understanding why Fleet Pond is called a pond 


14. Never leaving

Everyone complains about Fleet, but does anyone actually leave? Not really. Even if you've managed to get yourself out, half your friends and family are probably still there. Why? Because it's safe and comfy and there's a NIGHTCLUB underneath a WAITROSE, what more could you need?!

Friday, 17 April 2015

20 Things You Only Remember If You Went To Calthorpe

1. The crap excuses for a day off

Is it me or did the staff at Calthorpe love a day off? Or just an excuse to spice things up? First, the "SLUGG Walk" came along where we basically got a day to chillax in the sun, checking out the various stalls and games on offer after walking round one lap of the school "for charity" or something. Then when the House system came in they gave us "House Day", a day to 'bond with your tutor group' as you go about doing ridiculous tasks like forming a rock band or doing Christmas themed Maths puzzles. And don't get me started on "Olympic Day" and "Media Day"...

2. Always wanting to graduate to that black jumper and show everyone who's in charge.

Yep, there's no mistaking me for a Year Seven anymore, guys. The black jumper's here. That's right. I rule the skool.

3. The unnecessarily long end of term assemblies.

Twice a year we had to lug our OWN chairs to the Hart Leisure Centre and sit with our asses going numb for about three hours whilst we watched people win awards, listened to the token 'great singer' of the year belt out a tune, and cringe as the staff yelled Dad jokes at each other from across the room in an attempt to create 'festive banter'. You know the ones. The ones that usually start with "I say, I say, I say, Mr Ellis..." Stop right there, mate.

4. Mr Brand and his waistcoats.

A purveyor of fine fashion, Mr Brand never went a day without one of his silk waistcoats cos he was, to be quite honest, an absolute legend. Who can forget the cycle safety video he made when he got in a bike accident? Classic.

5. Mr Amos and his deep meaningful assemblies

Let's be honest, Mr Amos was bae. He was the only member of staff that could start an assembly talking about the time he went to Thorpe Park and finish it with "and that's when I learned a great lesson about perseverance."

6. Tech being the ultimate doss.

I'm sorry, you want me to build an electric buzzer? Nah. Unless you took this at GCSE, Tech was the doss of the week. It's where I made my closest friends. It was where you unleashed your rascal side. People who got straight A*s in Science would come to Tech and get sent out. It was a whole other world. Sorry Mr Bidder.

7. Being sent to Pastoral for your serious threats to other people's education.

If you haven't got a tie, if your skirt's too short, if you're wearing (god forbid) nail varnish, well, you're fucked. Your entire education - screwed. Better rush you off to a safe place before you infect other people's learning.

8. Sports Day being an absolute joke

*signs up for 1 event on Sports Day then spends the rest of the day taking group pics and eating ice cream*

9. The black market for House Badges

"Can you sort me out with a Marie Curie? I've lost mine and I can't be going back to Pastoral, I'm on report." And there was always that one kid who thought he was a total hardman cos he could pierce his skin with the badge without even so much as a flinch of pain.

10. Thinking you were at the centre of all things high tech and innovative when the dinner lady stopped saying "card pls" and instead "thumb pls"

I can go into debt on my thumb?! What kind of school of the future is this?!

No money on your thumb? You're a worthless individual

11. The soap opera love affair between *those* 3 members of staff.

I don't even have to name and shame. We all know the ones. The married couple. The ski trip affair. The kids. The pregnancy. It was like Hollyoaks came to Hitches Lane.

12. Feeling a stab of pain when Ms Cho put you on the "bad side" of the whiteboard

And subsequently refusing in protest when she told you to "put the gum... in the bin".

13. Mini fist-pumping if you had Mr Wilbraham for Science

Get in.

14. ...And dreading it if you had Mr Hill.

15. The arch rivalry with Court Moor

Behind enemy lines

Towards the end of school, some made friends with them, but the underlying competition was always there.

16. Scoffing at the school's ridiculous attemps at discipline.

Who remembers the "CaR licenses" we had in our homework diaries? Where if you got 12 points on your license you got a Saturday detention or something? Mad.

17. Being outraged that Year 11s had their own dining room and special door. 

Until you got to Year 11 and had the power, which you abused to the max.

18. Going to the Hart Leisure Centre for PE and terrorising the local clientele

Those poor, innocent Fleet folk going for their pilates classes.

19. The "Smokers Bridge"

Where only the hardest of the hard hung out. The place that was just off site so technically legal to smoke on as soon as you left school. Although still kind of illegal cos everyone was like fourteen.

20. Kind of missing the whole place

It was a bit shit, the uniform was disgusting, and you hated half the people you interacted with on a day to day basis. But you'd still probably give anything to go back to the days where your biggest responsibility was getting your homework diary signed (or forging it). Ah, good old Calthorpe...

Monday, 13 April 2015


Alright listen up cos this is v v v important and there's only a week left to register!

"I don't know anything about politics"

"I don't care about politics"

"I just don't get it"

"I don't particularly like any of the people standing"


Well, same.
Before I could vote I was kinda like "am I gonna tho?" Cos I never knew a single thing about politics. To be honest, I'm not all that clued up now. I won't sit here and lie to you all and pretend I've now transformed myself into some kind of politically savvy gal just cos I'm now a feminist (ooh, and President of my university's FemSoc starting next year! EXCITING!)

But I have this feeling that we are in a pivotal time for politics and women. I mean, come on, A WOMAN IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE USA!!!!!


This upcoming General Election I have decided to be much more involved, and try and make an effort to understand it all. I did this partly because I knew it was the right thing to do, and because even if I don't always get what the hell's going on, I do care about who is in charge and what happens to the country - and everyone should really. I also was spurned on by Kate Willoughby, a wonderful woman who started the online campaign '#EmilyMatters' to encourage young people, specifically women, to vote. She came to visit us and do a talk with my FemSoc, which was really eye-opening. She showed us these stastics:

So basically, most of the voting is being skewed by old men.

My uni was once home to Emily Wilding Davison, who was an important figurehead in the Suffragette movement. She threw herself under a bloody horse so we could vote - and yet, a century later, we still have statistics like this. Where are all the young female voters? We're not being encouraged enough in schools and sixth forms to be politically active. It isn't seen as something that women should do. To be honest, we're just not educated enough about it at all. I live with two girls at the moment who say they would vote, but they just don't know enough about it.

Why isn't it compulsory education that we learn about how our country is run? Why aren't young people, especially young women, being equipped with the knowledge that we need to let our decisions and voices be heard? IT'S RIDIC.

Anyhow, it's important for us to get clued up. So, first of all, have a look at the Policy Guide on the BBC Website. It shows you where all the parties stand on key issues like the economy, immigration, housing, welfare, healthcare etc., as well as what their key priorities are as a party. Just summed up in bullet point lists so you can get a general overview of it all without all the heavy reading:

Once you've got a bit more of an idea of what's going on, register to vote here:

It's really simple and quick, all you need is your NI number and off ya go!! Time to help change the way the country's run! You have til the 20th April. MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOUR.

Tegan xo