The Pill Explained (For Girls Who Aint Got Time For Medical Jargon)

Look how happy she is, she's baby free and lovin' life!

 A lot of people seem to think that the contraceptive pill can be really bad for your health. I  mean, yeah, you hear all those stories, but c'mon, if that shit actually happened to everyone it wouldn't be such a popular form of contraception now, would it? Personally, I’ve been on the pill for three years, and haven’t had any major health issues. In fact, when I first went on it, my boobs grew and my skin cleared up, HOLLAAAAA. OK, it was only a few months before they went back to normal size, but it was bloody great while it lasted. This won’t happen to everyone though, soz to break it to you.

Of course, with any kind of medication you take, there are going to be risks of side effects. And not all of them are gonna be awesome ones like big boobs and clear skin. At first you might get your typical mood swings (these are pills that mess with your hormones, remember) but once your body adjusts it should, in theory, be fine. You'll stop crying every time your Pop Tart gets stuck in the toaster. There are so many different kinds of contraceptives (trust me, I spent two years working in a pharmacy stood right next to the contraceptives shelf – there are WAY more than I even knew about), so if you find that your pill gives you migraines or you’re just TOO hormonal (see aforementioned Pop Tart episode) then your GP can easily switch you to something else, there's about a gazillion types to choose from.

"Microsoft Word changed the text wrapping of my photos and now everything's thrown into madness and I hate everything and the whole world"

In the first few months of taking the pill, breakthrough bleeding and spotting is normal, but again, this should clear up. At first you're like holy shit this isn't right, you weren't invited, but sometimes, your ovaries like to gatecrash. It's lame but, you know, it happens. Oh yeah, the pill also increases your blood pressure, so if you smoke, you might wanna think about cutting down, cos it will affect you homie. You won't be able to have anaesthetics. Yeah, that's right, operations. AWAKE.

But then there’s all the good stuff about being on the pill! Namely, the decrease in risk of getting pregnant (always a winner am I right), but then of course there’s the wonderful bonus of knowing exactly when your period is going to be. Seriously, it’s a bloody lifesaver (no pun intended LOL) being able to plan ahead. If you don't want a period you can be all "na bitch" and just go straight onto your next packet (don't do it too much though seriously)

Throw some SHADEEEE at dat period!

 

For more information, there’s a link on the NHS website that balances out the pros and cons - http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/contraception-guide/Pages/combined-contraceptive-pill.aspx#Advantages

But from a personal viewpoint, without having to read all the medical jargon, I’ve been on it for a while now and I’m chillin'.

Tegan xo