God, I haven't written in ages, I'm so crap. BUT I'M BACK. And with a rant (oh yeah)!
So basically, I was scrolling along my news feed, when this came up:
Here's the full article - http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/cheryl-cole-name-change-not-3870588
I'll start by saying this: I don't give two shits what Cheryl Cole does with her marriage: if she wants to keep her name, fine, if she wants to take her husband's - go for it! But what I do care about is a) the person who wrote this joke of an "article" and b) the woman who subsequently shared it on Facebook with a comment slating feminism.
To be honest, I see where the woman who shared this is coming from, because Polly Hudson, the writer of this article, is saying some stupid shit. She's worded her argument very badly. But she does NOT reflect the average feminist.
Let's look at the most glaringly obvious fact here: IT'S WRITTEN FOR THE DAILY MIRROR. Which is kind of shitty. I'm sorry, but no self respecting, intelligent woman would write for the Daily Mirror.
Hudson describes the decision as "basically medieval". Um... what? Is it just me or is this whole "name-taking-father-giving-away" thing something that's been happening since forever and still happens all the time nowadays? Is this woman trying to create some sort of bizarre new ideology that TAKING YOUR HUSBANDS NAME IS MEDIEVAL, DUH, LIKE EVERYONE THINKS LIKE THAT NOWADAYS NOBODY HAS DONE THAT SINCE MEDIEVAL TIMES. This is the first I've seen of it. It's not a thing, so don't try and make it a thing. People still take their husbands names - A LOT.
I see where she's coming from when she talks about marriage as a whole:
"the groom asks the bride’s father for his permission, the father hands her over at the ceremony, like property, at the reception they both make speeches, along with the best man, i.e. all the blokes talk while the subservient little women keep schtum.
Most couples opt to take it out of their vows, but let’s not forget that strictly speaking the woman is meant to promise to obey the man, but not vice versa."
Call me old-fashioned (or "medieval") but I think the groom asking the bride's father for permission is quite sweet, and I think it's a really respectful thing to do. I mean, it's not like he hasn't asked the woman's permission first! The giving away thing can be viewed as treating his daughter like property if you're really gonna read into it - but to be honest, I just see it as a Dad going "go for it, go be with this guy". I don't know, I guess I can't explain it that well, but I think it's nice, and I want my Dad to give me away if the time comes.
Do people really still do some vow where the woman has to obey the man but not vice versa? I'm not sure that's a thing anymore. As for the speeches - what the hell kind of weddings has this woman been to? Pretty much every wedding I've been to, a woman has made a speech too. The maid of honour, the mothers? Helloooo?
"And at the end, the bride throws the bouquet to see who’ll get married next – but only the women queue up to try and catch it (because only women want to get married) while their boyfriends look on nervously, wondering which of them will be trapped by an old ball and chain next."
OK, fair enough, thinking about it, this does seem kinda weird that we do this. I'm sure this is the case in some (*cough cough* basic) weddings, but I'm sure there are plenty of weddings where the men aren't, you know, assholes.
But you're forgetting something here Polly - people can make CHOICES. If I don't want my marriage to go down that way, then I won't let it go down that way.
I'm a feminist (duh y'all know that by now) and I think it's fine to take your husband's name if you want to. It's your choice. I mean you can't expect her to keep the name of Cole, can you? Nobody wants to carry around the name of their cheating ex-husband. But as I said earlier - I don't give a rat's arse what Cheryl Cole does. The thing I give a shit about is the ridiculous comments that are made that, in turn, make feminism look ridiculous, when it's not. Feminism isn't "an excuse to bitch and moan about everything men do" - and I'm annoyed that some women are making it seem that way!
What do you guys think?
Tegan xo
Tegan xo
4 comments:
You actually make quite an articulate argument Tegs, and I really enjoyed reading it. I'm using feminist theory to write my dissertation at the minute but I have to somewhat agree with Jodie Einon. I think that there are a small group of feminists out there who do abuse what feminism is and what it stands for. They have taken it too far. My dad for instance held the door open for a old lady and she really told him off about it, how he was a sexist pig and that she was quite capable of opening the door herself and she didn't need a man to do it for her. Okay that is up to her and it her right to feel that way but my dad was only trying to be nice and would of held it open for anybody as its just a polite thing to do. These people forget that feminism is about the equality of men and women and instead use the term to slate the male gender and blame them for everything they can. They see the female gender as superior and they are guilty of what they accuse the men of. However you are completely right in the respect that you can not judge an entire movement by one person and the feminists that I've spoken about are a small minority of people. There are many feminists like yourself who are level headed and do look at feminism in a logical and well balanced way. Unfortunately I do not think that this Polly Hudson is alone in her beliefs. There are quite a few extremists that would agree with her which is a shame as I believe that it those type of people that set feminism back. If we want men to respect us and see us as equals, slamming them and fighting them all the way will never achieve the true goal of feminism. Kerrie x
Be careful writing articles like this. You could end up with a civil lawsuit because you used her name and picture. It can be deemed to be libel (defamation). If you want to be serious about journalism, publically slating people and newpapers is a bad idea.
I saw this girls post on facebook and i was so close to doing what you've done, damn my new job and no time. haha Jazz xx
feminism now day is a movemen to respect wommen AS THEY ARE not to be THE SAME AS MEN ... and with that, you can tear down eny of their arguments... that by the way are pretty sh*tty (oh, and i'm feminist to) ...
I really liked your post, well done :D
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